Dance Fever

So on Friday night I went to a friend's 21st. Lucky girl had a hall rented out, fully catered, a string quartet for the first two hours. Of course once they retired the laptop was hooked up to the big speakers and the dance music was started.

I never really understood dance in high school. Just a mindless flailing of arms and legs, no matter how silly it looks.

I've grown a bit since then.

It took a long time for the music to really get into me, and I don't think I really made much of myself when it did. I'm still heavily self-conscious of how I look, and the dress I was wearing, having been made while I was still in high school, was not made for dancing in. Yet I still found myself having to consciously rein myself in, to stop from displaying myself in an overly sexual manner. I'm far too used to the idea that any attention is bad attention. Its not like I was looking to attract anyone that was there.

Still, there was one dance number where I and about half a dozen others had gathered in a little circle to one side. The one male of the group was taking us each for a little spin by turn, but when he got to me it wasn't quite just a little spin. There was a great deal of touching, and bodies writhing together, with this guy I have only a casual acquaintance with. The closest we've gotten before is exchanging bruises on the battlefield, literally, and here we are with his hands about my waist and the buldge of his crotch pressed against my thigh. I don't even find him that attractive, but when the music stopped quite soon after that, I was glad of the breathing time.

I crave the day I can dance unrestrained, without a care.