I'm Emotional

And I'm tired of being punished for that fact.

Also, I'm an emotional vampire. Or maybe mirror, I don't know. I tend to reflect and experience what others around me are feeling.

I need to stop dating unhappy people.

So, its been a while ...

So long a while, I almost forgot my password.

So much has happened in the past ... nineteen and a half months, wow.

I was in a long term relationship which I knew would end, and in which I didn't even love.

I found that straightjackets, rubber, and chastity belts are definitely not for me, among other things.

My emotional fragility and rawness, when I drop the shields in collar, was made very very clear.

I know that the animal in me reeeaaaally wants to get out.

I helped build and then stepped away from multiple BDSM community projects. The next I make will be my vision, though I know I will need help.

And I got to find out what it means to actually WANT someone ... and not have them. It made clear that I have never actually wanted anyone before. And I am terrified that it will never happen again.

I make no promises, but I am still here.